Have you ever wondered who and what is driving the war you are in…the court charade in your family law matter?
Battered women ask, “What keeps this darn thing going?” “How is it that he can continue to abuse me through the courts?”
And, “Why do the rulings more often than not favor his side?” If you have asked yourself either of these questions, then read on because this article is for you.
Divorce War as Legalized Domestic Violence
When the public looks in on a case and declares domestic abuse indeed exists, then what usually happens is that the micro-dynamics quickly shift. The battlefield fills with foreign soldiers as the sticks and stones in your backyard are replaced by judges, attorneys and guardian ad litem “for” the minor children.
Now, at first you think these folks are in place to “help” you protect your children. And deep in your soul you long to see these so-called helpers break the cycle of family violence that abounds.
But what you observe is not quite as you expected. Instead, you find yourself thinking and feeling the same set of emotions that filled your day in your home before your divorce proceedings.
This roller coaster of fear, anxiety and hope that you ride is your new nightmare. The only difference is the weapons of destruction have changed.
What Fuels Domestic Violence Transformed into Legal Abuse?
Abuse is about control and so is litigation. And unfortunately for you, abusers thrive in this arena. You witness your partner appearing to “enjoy” seeing you buckle while tormented with his endless legal stalking.
And you wonder how is it that the “helpers” are helping him carry out his campaign to wear you out and ultimately break you down. You fear the realization of his threats…to leave you childless, homeless and penniless.
Then you wonder, “What is driving this litigation? Who are the perpetrators? Is it your soon-to-be ex, his counsel or even worse is it the court appointed agents? Could it be the Judge?” you ask yourself.
Understanding the Larger Politics in Domestic Violence Divorce
Let’s pretend for a moment that any of the questions posed in this article have crossed your mind. If you are with me here, I urge you to seek to unveil the larger underlying politics of your case. Because until you do, you could be playing the court assigned role of the “victim” in this court sage indefinitely.